I don't know about you, but this year is my year. Yes I have someone special in my life, but now in my mid thirties, no one can tell me that putting your self first, YES being 'selfish', IS NOT the done deal.
We all know the talk...you must Love yourself before anyone else can Love you. We hear it all the time.
I however, think that learning to Love yourself is easier said then done, especially for those of us born to single parents....who never remarried.
Yeah my Mum showed me Love. She worked 13 hours a day to ensure we didn't look like abandoned children or 'have not's'.
I had everything I needed. HOWEVER, because mummy worked so hard I never saw her relax, or spend time pampering herself.
Learning to Love myself and put myself first was self taught and took many years of people taking the piss with me, to really understand how I should Love Me.
First things first..... I refuse to see putting myself first in any situation that I choose to put myself first, as selfish. If you know me, you know that when I put myself first, yes in front of you (and of course without harming you); you always get the best ME.
The way society has conditioned us to put ourselves last and to give our all to someone else cause, to sacrifice our needs for another, is non beneficial to me.
You may disagree. Maybe people get the best out of you, when you rarely say no to a request, that puts you out in some way or another.
But me....nah, that Love language does not suit my dna. It's not my style. I've been there, done that and trashed the stale t-shirt many years ago.
This Valentines day, it's all about me and that's how I'm going to celebrate valentines from now on.
And I will not apologise to my other quarter (that's what I call my significant other...read in between the lines and you'll know why).
Because at the end of the day, in return of understanding that I have to put myself first...he always gets the best me ;-)
Happy Valentines Day x
Valentine’s Day is only six days away and this year I have promised to treat myself. I'm not expecting my other half (or what I call my other quarter) to magically produce a gift from behind his ear because we're not like that. And why are we not like that.....because commitment has been at the bottom of my list, ever since I can remember.
I would walk away from men who liked me too much, rang me too often, complimented me too much and smiled at me too much. I've been so hard on men....good men. But everything happens for a wiser purpose and now is the time for me to put commitment to the top of my list. (look out for part two to read more about my issueSSS with relationships).
So I am starting by committing to myself. 'Unna mus alweys com firs, yuh zeeit'.
So here's my checklist for my valentines special;
1. Buy fresh flowers for each room in the house, including the corridors.
2. Buy ingredients for my favourite meal and eat like a queen. (If my other 'quarter' says he wants to join me, don't be stubborn and say no...like you may want to.
3. Although Valentine ’s Day is on a Friday this year, dress up to the nines for work, even though its dress down Friday.
4. Buy a new party dress for my birthday next month.
5. Hold a reasoning in the morning and evening giving thanks for all I have.
6. Call mum and dad and tell them you love them.
It's a very simple checklist. But over the last 10 years with my photography business I'd picked up some really bad habits and forgotten to take care of me.
So, for all the people who are self-righteous and refuse to celebrate Valentine’s Day, because of its origins and who knows what else. Why hate on a day that can bring about good things. You know deep down you want someone to show you some love....born in the west we cannot escape the effect Valentine’s Day has on our sub conscious.
Instead of hating and hiding, follow my lead and treat yourself like a King or Queen for the day.
We deserve it.
I walk with a note pad because typing in my phone does not compare to writing my thoughts, insights and epiphany's in ink.