First, my disclaimer! What I'm about to write is not a generalisation of all men. Nor is what I'm about to write the experience of all women. Now, let me be honest... what you are about to read is my dating experience.
THE BARBERSHOP SCHOOL 'OF RELATIONSHIPS'!
I was raised playing with Barbie and Ken. And although I defaced my barbie dolls (I had an assortment of different shades of brown felt tip pens around the house, of which I used to make black Barbie and black Ken - proof that I had a healthy identity as a young girl...thanks mum). I grew to love, Love and read the 'Love is' book range. Actually, I still have my first 'Love is' book. Published in 1971 and written by Kim Casali, this book was actual the second love in my life (my mother was my first). It was the first item I cherished, loved and adored. In fact I should frame it! The book is so special, it beautifully outlines the 'verb' of love. You know, the things we DO in a loving relationship...to show your partner that you care, that they' re your one and only, that for only them, you would swim the deepest seas and climb the highest mountains just to make them happy. Thank you Kim Casali for giving me the dilemma I now face.
So with this foundation of what 'Love is', I, as with many other young woman kept falling head over heels for men...boys, who's schooling on love was delivered by conversations in the barbershop whilst waiting to get their hair cut. Now this here... what I am about to critically analyse... is slightly disheartening AND confusing for us woman WHO as a child expected the Cinderella wedding, to a black knight who wore mental Armour.
Take a look what the Barbershop 'School of Relationships' teaches:
- NEVER tell a women you love her, she will start to take you for granted and cheat on you
- NEVER eat or drink from a new woman, she might put 'juju' in your food
- DON'T commit to the relationship, until you have tried a range of women and / or (which ever comes first) you are loosing your 'appeal or swag', are getting old, fat or 'run down looking'.
- DON'T get into regular pattern's of going out, to prevent attachment from occurring
- DON'T admit you and her are in a relationship - always call yourself 'just friends'
- DON'T take photo's of you and 'your friend' together. Hide you face by looking away from the camera
- DO keep her coming back for more, be nice but unavailable (do that and she'll be begging to see you and then she'll be like putty in your hands)
- DO share some of your fears with her, opening up will make her think, you think, she's special
- IF you see her get too clingy or you start falling in love with her, detach yourself immediatley by making yourself unavailable, seeing someone else will help this process.
- DON'T let her put comments on your social media, she has to respect your boundaries
- UNDER NO circumstances do you celebrate valentines, birthdays or Christmas with her, however you are free to accept gifts from her during these times (or any other time)
- Remember! being mean keeps them keen - put her down every now and then, making her insecure, this will make her need you more. Then she'll be like putty in your hands
- Women should be happy that they have been given the honour of being in your presence, why commit! What else could they possibly want. Women should be grateful with just seeing you.
Need I go on?
The above Barbershop 'School of Relationships' is the current mindset of many men in urban communities. Now where this mindset stems from, I'm not going to get into now (this blog is long enough)? Some may say slavery (yes slavery), some may say the movies or hip hop music videos, some may even say it derives from the gang cultures prevalent on our streets. *Sigh*
Now compare this barbershop 'rhetoric' with my 1970's 'Love is' book reading foundation
- Love is when you won't leave his beside (when he's sick)
- Love is hitting the road together
- Love is wearing his biker jacket
- Love is enjoying the simple things in life together
- Love is taking on her problems as well as your own
- Love is when your differences make no difference
- Love is taking one day at a time
- Love is having someone to lean on in a crisis
- Love is telling her she's beautiful without her makeup
- Love is helping him overcome his shyness
- Love is a dedication
- Love is all about communication
- Love is saving on the budget by making your own
Need I go on?
In this new age of 'linking' and with men's (or should I say boys) weird and premeditated ways of looking at the 'initiation of relationships', where does 'real love' stand?
Is it no longer important? or do women simply have to wait for the men of their generation to mature (later on in life than expected). And with women's naivety and often powerless voice in correcting such warped mindsets (btw the warped mindsets can actually be a thesis on mental health issues in relationships), I ask!!! What do women do whilst they wait for their man to turn from frog to prince?
Wait, wait, wait....hold on a second I know what women do, we either become baby momma's, career chasers or lesbians, that's what we do and in return we leave no room for foolishness....
... or the MATURE MAN that finally lets go of the Barbershop 'School of Relationships' mindset and enrolls into the world of 'normal' 'balanced' and 'healthy' thought processes.
It's a tricky situation and definitely one to talk about with the young people in our families. We call this food...no school for thought.
xxx take care out there (because sometimes it feels like we are at war.. with dumb ways of thinking in our community)
With Love...Elen B x
Beyond English people going to Asia, Africa, Australia or even the Caribbean to explore beautiful and wonderful cultures. Do you think they will ever understand the cultures that are on their doorstep? That is, those of us who are of the 'other', that live here in the UK. Now don't assume I am racist (because I couldn't be)....just follow my lead here.
Whilst studying my 'Social Research' degree I was fascinated with group dynamics. How we interact and how we exclude or include others. The way we as human's work is amazing. I love us, and I especially love the current evolution which is taking place (if you can not see or feel that we as a human race are evolving I challenge you to turn off your TV, check your social media and whatsapp once a day, actually just get off your mobile phone. Oh and eat a healthier, lighter diet, excluding fizzy drinks and fatty takeaways).
Back to the point, we as human's are evolving and with this I wonder if the time in nearing for Europeans and my fellow English man and woman, to open their hearts and minds to the realities of who Caribbean people really are. It's not that I personally seek their approval, but my son and his friends need a cultural understanding from English people, that is of a higher 'frequency'. I sigh. I hope that time comes soon.
And it might if we ALL remember that no man is bigger than the next. White people looking down at black people. Black people, Asian's and Hispanics looking at white people in disbelief. You see whilst white people, Europeans have their 'I'm greater than you all' mask on, many do not realise that they look very very childish and immature. And whilst we 'the other' do (like what I am doing now), and focus on what European's are or are not doing we waste valuable energy that could be used to hoist up our 'collective' outward facing group confidence and self belief.
To be honest, we as Caribbean's only allow a few 'others' (that is white people) into our cultural group. Just because you see us 'integrating' does not mean we share our true self.
Maybe I should not share this but we give 'others' the worst of us and keep the best for ourselves! Our loyalty, our passion, our pride, our enterprising nature, our work ethic, our genuinity, our resilience, our inner knowing, our creativity, our kindness.... I could go on.
We are sort of ...just a little bit, selfish. But because we give the world so much entertainment via our music, sports and acting skills, that we could never be called selfish.
As we all evolve, I wonder if European's will realise that the mask that we wear, is to protect, what's great within our culture and our humanness.
We Caribbean's complain about many a things, including institutional racism. But we know our gifts, regardless of what the newspapers say. So I will end by writing that, English people will start to see the truth's of Caribbean culture, when WE Caribbean's feel safe to let them as a collective group in and thus, school teachers expectations of our children will rise, the media will refrain from writing about us as murders, pimps, drug dealers, baby mamma's and hoes. I could go on...you know how the story goes.
When we Caribbean's feel safe, secure and far from threats and acts of direct and indirect violence, we will open up, like a beautiful bud, or a moth coming out of it's cocoon. We will shine. We will rise and we will share our most powerful gifts with the world.
Food for thought right...
by Elen B
I do this for the people who said I Couldn't ,
And for the people who said I can,
But hope that I don't,
So they can remain on the fragile
Pedal stool they built over me.
I do this for the weary,
Who just need the mirror image,
To prove the test works
And that the rejection and
Heartache is worth it.
I do this for my mother,
Who worked for us,
instead of herself,
Who dreamt of gold,
And got paper,
And imagined peace,
But got turbulence.
I do this for my son,
Who Must know,
That choices are multiple,
And that ripple effects,
I do this for my loves lost,
To show off the blessings
I gained from their vacancy.
Absent only, of not knowing
How bright it is with blindfolds on.
I do this for my ancestors,
'Know that time was never wasted, taken for granted or hated'.
Lessons of their ambitions,
Carefully unfolded, executed and Savoured.
With buckets full of gratitude,
Clean tenderheartedness and loyalty.
I do this,
Because it's easier,
To act in Faith,
Then be in fear.
To know the freedom
that 'free' fearful people know not.
I do this for loves sake.
Jamaican British Relationships
I was just on Mama B's radio show on Jamaica's SunCity Radio. It's a fantastic radio station for all Jamaican's at home and abroad.
We discussed some of the issues women in the 21 century face in society and in relationships. Particularly in the UK.
Here are my views.
You may agree or you may disagree.
Regardless, we all should find our own way in making our relationships work with the men in our life.
Conservative I love your motto 'We help those who help themselves', but the strain your previous cuts (and the f'up's of the labour government) have put a strain on parents, which has a direct affect on young people.
You mentioned young people ONCE in your budget yesterday. Did you FORGET how important they are to the fabric of our society?
The Bingo and Beer tax cut could have instead been 'Increased one pence on Bingo and Beer tax to improve Training Programmes and Careers Guidance for young people'!!! People will still buy beer and go to bingo, regardless.
The majority of young people I work with have not had any effective careers advice and they are over 18 years of age.
They all think that careers advisor are just to help students choose GCSE's. In terms of their post 18 ambitions they do not see any use in speaking to a careers advisor because they feel they do not have the correct knowledge to guide them.
As for training programmes there are not enough, and the few that are running are so desperate to make the funders happy that they neglect the quality of the service and the outcomes. Thus young people miss out on gaining essential qualities and skills; which in turn means that many are still unemployable.
You guys have more money than sense.....come and live with me for a week, no a day and you'll see what it's like down here. KMT
Young people are tomorrows adults. Wouldn't it be wiser to 'remember' to improve their services and secure their futures?
After all, it is they that will be looking after you, when you have false teeth, memory loss and poor vision.
I don't know about you, but this year is my year. Yes I have someone special in my life, but now in my mid thirties, no one can tell me that putting your self first, YES being 'selfish', IS NOT the done deal.
We all know the talk...you must Love yourself before anyone else can Love you. We hear it all the time.
I however, think that learning to Love yourself is easier said then done, especially for those of us born to single parents....who never remarried.
Yeah my Mum showed me Love. She worked 13 hours a day to ensure we didn't look like abandoned children or 'have not's'.
I had everything I needed. HOWEVER, because mummy worked so hard I never saw her relax, or spend time pampering herself.
Learning to Love myself and put myself first was self taught and took many years of people taking the piss with me, to really understand how I should Love Me.
First things first..... I refuse to see putting myself first in any situation that I choose to put myself first, as selfish. If you know me, you know that when I put myself first, yes in front of you (and of course without harming you); you always get the best ME.
The way society has conditioned us to put ourselves last and to give our all to someone else cause, to sacrifice our needs for another, is non beneficial to me.
You may disagree. Maybe people get the best out of you, when you rarely say no to a request, that puts you out in some way or another.
But me....nah, that Love language does not suit my dna. It's not my style. I've been there, done that and trashed the stale t-shirt many years ago.
This Valentines day, it's all about me and that's how I'm going to celebrate valentines from now on.
And I will not apologise to my other quarter (that's what I call my significant other...read in between the lines and you'll know why).
Because at the end of the day, in return of understanding that I have to put myself first...he always gets the best me ;-)
Happy Valentines Day x
Valentine’s Day is only six days away and this year I have promised to treat myself. I'm not expecting my other half (or what I call my other quarter) to magically produce a gift from behind his ear because we're not like that. And why are we not like that.....because commitment has been at the bottom of my list, ever since I can remember.
I would walk away from men who liked me too much, rang me too often, complimented me too much and smiled at me too much. I've been so hard on men....good men. But everything happens for a wiser purpose and now is the time for me to put commitment to the top of my list. (look out for part two to read more about my issueSSS with relationships).
So I am starting by committing to myself. 'Unna mus alweys com firs, yuh zeeit'.
So here's my checklist for my valentines special;
1. Buy fresh flowers for each room in the house, including the corridors.
2. Buy ingredients for my favourite meal and eat like a queen. (If my other 'quarter' says he wants to join me, don't be stubborn and say no...like you may want to.
3. Although Valentine ’s Day is on a Friday this year, dress up to the nines for work, even though its dress down Friday.
4. Buy a new party dress for my birthday next month.
5. Hold a reasoning in the morning and evening giving thanks for all I have.
6. Call mum and dad and tell them you love them.
It's a very simple checklist. But over the last 10 years with my photography business I'd picked up some really bad habits and forgotten to take care of me.
So, for all the people who are self-righteous and refuse to celebrate Valentine’s Day, because of its origins and who knows what else. Why hate on a day that can bring about good things. You know deep down you want someone to show you some love....born in the west we cannot escape the effect Valentine’s Day has on our sub conscious.
Instead of hating and hiding, follow my lead and treat yourself like a King or Queen for the day.
We deserve it.
Every once in a while you hear a new artist that deserves the attention. CBlock is one of them. From Jamaica to North London, CBlock is leading by example with a powerful voice, melodic beats and songs ready for radio playlists. If you wanted to know what's going on with the British Reggae scene, look towards CBlock. Take a listen to my interview with CBlock below then go and download his EP New Day from Itunes.
In my idealistic world my mothers generation will be full of wisdom and encouragement. Ready and more than happy to share their life experiences. Not just because they pity us, 'younger ones', but because they are unashamed of their past, happy to share lessons of dark, frightening moments, that made them stop breathing for fear of death.
Okay I may be exaggerating a touch, but for real...what happened to sharing your secrets, the one's you have learnt lessons from and the ones you are still trying to work out.
I'd much prefer that level of interaction instead of me asking a simple question, and 'your generation', putting up a wall of defense that only Machiavelli would use to strategically fight against enemies.
What made you so angry. Was it 23 years in jail, rape, violation and abuse, neglect and torment that would have you dispise us youngsters.
Well, my elder...I was just a thought in God's great scheme of things when 'those things' happened to you. I was not there when you were wronged and not listened too. I was not there to save you from the ignorance and greed of mankind.
But I am here now, asking you to chill out....sort out your issues; so that we can talk respectfully, as an auntie or uncle would to a niece or nephew. CHILL OUT MAN. And let's be friends and walk this journey together.
For we, although younger, also have secrets, and knowledge and wisdom....and once you take off the veil, of so called 'protection' and lay down your defense. You may just realise, that we are all in the sammme boat, dealing with the sammme issues.
Oh and maybe if you would share your issues, we would be able to deal with ours a lot better than we are.
KMT.....I'm Elen B
In my last post I complained about selfish music managers interested only, in building their personal portfolio; leaving an artist confused, ill prepared and disillusioned.
In the same breath I also said I believe the manager is not to blame for the low profile and static career many independent artists experience.
The artists that categorically KNOW they have a talent, a unique voice or message; or even purpose, always...ALWAYS meet the right people on their journey. People that can SEE their vision and wish to assist them towards achieving their goals and ambition.
These confident artists, may be quieter than the rest, for their inner KNOWING that they will achieve is all they need to get them up in the morning. And their inner KNOWING is all they need to take the necessary steps to; write song after song; record song after song and perform song after song...without a whiff of receiving a Mercury or Brit Award.
But they know....one day; one decision; one action; one song will make all the difference.
So they keep on, and like a magnet keep meeting the right people at the right time. It's what I call the Boomerang Effect; what you feel you deserve deep down inside the depths of your soul, ALWAYS comes back to you ten fold.
So, if you have doubt, you'll meet doubtful people who, with sugar coated words that taste bitter, will insist on helping you on your journey.
If you have low confidence, you'll meet people who just can't keep constructive criticism constructive and, seem to take digs at you in a way that punches you deeper and deeper into feeling unworthy.
Do I need to go on? Because I'm sure you get my point. I've lived through this and seen many others too. See we are all the same, going through the same experiences...just maybe at different stages in our life.
Trust me, watch out for the Boomerang Effect....as it doesn't feel nice when your own negativity turns around and hits you with full force.
I tell you what. Take a look at the people around you. Do any of them put you down for less then pronouncing a word incorrectly? Or do any of them, say your out of your depth? Or.......... does just being around them kill your vibe?
If yes? Then go and do a MOT on yourself. Your self esteem, your self worth and your issues...you know those thoughts you have in the darkness of the night after waking up for what seems no reason at all.
Check yourself, Check your thoughts and Check your fears......(False. Evidence. Appearing. Real).
But most of all, make sure you switch them and turn them around, so that on a daily, hourly then minute to minute and second to second basis; You KNOW you deserve the best, you KNOW your talents are amazing, you KNOW you have something special to offer the world.
Then and only then, will you meet managers, A&R, promoters, booking agents, engineers (the list can go on) that trrrruuuullly truly wish to see you succeed, putting all their own 'God Given', 'I know I've got something to give the world' and 'I know I deserve success 'mantra', into your brand, your skills and your dreams.
I wish you all the best in your careers, what ever it is you do and wish to succeed in. And remember life's journey is a mental struggle so keep your mental healthy and push out the dirt.......immediately.
We do it for success sake....because Our Creator says we are just as Great. You are beautiful.
I really wanted to say 'hiding under shit managers', people who may not be 100% passionate about seeing the artist develop and succeed. These people...sorry 'managers', without a shadow of doubt see an opportunity to either be in the lime light themselves or raise their own profile at the time and expense of the artist. When this happens the artist 'too busy working on their passion to see how rubbish their management is' sits in their room looking glum, wondering why they work hard, sing and perform hard....but fail to see any progress.
There is one ultimate reason for this and to be honest the above situation can not be blamed on the management.
But on the artists' low confidence and low self esteem.
I'll leave you to ponder on this......Part two will be available tomorrow.
Have a great evening x
And she has sung...
Below is one of the many services I have on offer to those wishing to progress and succeed in the job market.
My collection of workshop's are built on years of research and hours upon hours of finding an high quality formula to assist people in getting that J.O.B! Oh and before I go on, the workshops are more importantly built on my personal experiences as a job seeker; mother; 'hard to reach'; minority ethnic; woman (that looks half her age); Hackney resident...statistic.
Whether it be a career ambition, a transitional job or a survival job we all deserve to have an income, to provide for our families, and this is how I use my talents....'to better the world we live in' ...lol.
I laugh, because the above statement although cheesy, is very very...very true and this is why we should all do everything we can, to achieve our career ambitions. Whether a 9-5, a sport, an art or self employment, if we back out of doing what we are good at, passionate about or naturally talented in...you know those things that make us happy when we do them; we break a natural cycle of progression within our family, community and believe it or not the global community (can your vision even project that far?....Yes? Good!).
So I invite you to tell a friend to tell a teacher or employer.......'Elen B (and I can say this with confidence), offers the best career consultancy in London and with personal investment being the new 'black'. You better give her a call'
Merry Christmas and a Happppy New Year X
(Photographs taken from http://www.anc.org.za/nelson)
I just had to write a letter, a short one, to share my feelings about Madiba great man and one that help me through serious racism as a young girl growing up in Hertfordshire in the 1980's.
Born on a Thursday - Passed On on a Thursday.
Here in the UK, living just outside London, I was 11 years old when my family gathered to watch the news and celebrate Father Nelson Mandela's release from imprisonment. The ripple effect of Father Mandela's words that day affected me. For I, in the area I lived, at my young age, in a land that showed off its diversity; was victim to so much physical and psychological racism. Father Mandela's words then and as I grew older, assisted in healing my wounds; with wisdom and not the easy road of hatred and fear. How powerful his words, how powerful it is for a stranger to remind another of the greatness and strength we can all tap into; regardless of our situation, background or financial status. May this Father I never met in the physical; but definitely meet in the realm of Love and Wisdom, continue to guide me, strengthen me and confirm that I, my son, my friends, strangers and neighbours, too MUST remember that LOVE IS ALL THERE IS and that it is LOVE THAT CONQUERS ALL! Who will continue his work? WE ALL MUST! Wearing his message and vision on our sleeves and smothering all that think otherwise with the wisdom and strength of this Universal and Eternal Power. The persistent effort is more than worth it. And for the racism I received as a child, wisdom showed me it is two inferiorities clashing. One must Stand up to break it's illusion and it's sour cycle. LOVE IS ALL THERE IS! GOD KEEP YOU FATHER MANDELA and your family.
WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU X Elen B
YOUNG PEOPLE WANTED.
For my new radio show on www.colourfulradio.com If you would like you to be a part of a team advising the community about all things relating to youth culture, get in contact today.
It's a fantastic opportunity.
So if you know about......
Music and music industry
Crime and Policing
Film and TV
Policy and Legislation
Research and Statistics
Email email@example.com to let me know your interested
I would like to thank everybody that attended my event on Saturday...'My Crazy Jamaican Life'. I don't know about you, but I love to see projects in there early stages. 2014 is going to be an exciting time for 'An Audience with Elen B' and you are all invited to enjoy the events, which will have you leaving entertained and inspired.
For now, below you will find the list of Notable Jamaican's used within my presentation.
Make good use of it.........Its all about generating 'good' PR for Jamaican and Jamaican people.
Have a great week.
We all saw it....the channel 4 documentary titled, my crazy new Jamaican life.
What an embarrassment. The documentary should have been called something else right.
Now it's time to have our say and make Jamaica proud, show Jamaica in its best light.
And combat the media making money from making Us look like clowns.
Have your say...............on 16th November. See you there.
Some of us hide our gifts we hide our glory under winters blanket of emotions
too blind too heavy to see our talents light
too cold, too caught up, too sorry
life's events that bring strengths wisdom and a knowing pass like three buses in a row without a soul on board
young ones old ones sad ones slow ones staring with eyes glazed over
Whether this life time or the next
maybe tomorrow or someday
It gets too hard not to miss
It gets too frustrating not to see
The message that comes from all the woes
the horrors and bad dreams
the real life experience
the real life hindrances
that blur the truth, the realness and the Mission
Everyone's is different but the destination all the same
You know when you get there
why preached to the unconverted
they'll know when they get theirs
Written by Elen B Copyright 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESTRICTED
I hear so many people (including myself .....when I'm slipping) complaining about the way the 'system' is. Often time I have to stop myself before the thought of 'the way the systim set' feeds on my negativity.
In my eyes (or I could say in my I's as the Rasta man would say), 'the systim' (purposely spelt incorrectly by the way) catches, NO traps, people who forget to believe in themselves, their talents, their true abilities and their daring ambitions. The welfare system, is there to do what it's meant to do. To be totally honest and in my humble opinion; people allowing the Government to be their provider for a prolonged amount of time (and to digress for a second; each case is different, however each case knows when they have chosen to stay on 'social' for tooooo long instead of doing their 'forever calling' ambitions justice...deep breath), choose to focus on the 'unknown' purpose of the governments welfare system and waste essential energy, on a age old conspiracy story, whether true or false; instead of making their ambitions happen.
It's truly a waste of valuable time....that can only be regained next life time ( if you believe in reincarnation).
Why focus on men and women who are doing THEIR job and getting THEIR pay check (even if THEIR jobs do look like aristocratic lyrical chairs in the house of commons as they pretend to have the country and world in control).
When you can focus on the exciting journey of making your ambitions happen. Its sooooooooooo much more interesting.
So its complaining about strangers playing lyrical chairs versus getting your elevator pitch right.
Or its complaining about, the lack of customer service at the job center versus being a spy and checking out your main competitors...local, national and international.
Why would you want to moan about the injustice of begging for your tax back, when you can network with potential affiliates and clients and work on getting your first set of sales (which is a joyous occasion....trust me).
And now I ask myself, why am I focusing my energy on the words and actions of people who CHOOSE to live in fear and CHOOSE to ignore their passions and ambitions?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.................... I think I should get back to work.
Why do we grudge others and say they were just lucky in their pursuits?
Whether they got a better job than us, won the lottery or seem to be in a great relationship.
What is it about seeing others progress that makes them lucky and us unlucky? Millionaires are said to be lucky including sportsmen, music artists and media personalities.
When it comes to achieving ambitions, I do not believe in luck. However, I do know that when your preparations meet a recognised opportunity; amazing things start to happen. The preparations I write about refer to are physical and mental preparations. I will start with the latter; Mental Preparations.
How many of us learn from the lessons of every bad experience? How many of us use these lessons to develop ourselves to a higher level or do some of us continue to blame others or the government for our mishap and shortcomings?
It's so easy to get stuck, actually its too easy.
Many may pass somebody less fortunate and pass judgement on them; forgetting that, getting stuck in any kind of situation can happen to anybody at anytime.
Think of your circle of friends. I'm certain that you can see who is simply 'stuck'. Whether they are 'stuck' in a cycle of non beneficial, loveless relationships or stuck on their BlackBerry and now live in the virtual world. Maybe they are stuck on lying and can never seem to simply tell the truth, or stuck in their arrogance, forgetting that no body is better than the next. What about their finances? Maybe their are stuck here, and cannot stop over spending. Or maybe just maybe, they are stuck in discouragement, poor confidence or lack of motivation. It's amazing how often our dearest friends can not see the potential we see in them.
If you have read our aims and objectives you probably know where I'm going with this. But I shall continue nonetheless.
Youth! Global trend setters, international motivators, cultural trend setters and linguistic innovators....are some of the most discouraged people I have ever meet.
They really do not understand or appreciate how youth culture constantly influences international trends.
Instead of waving a flag with 'I'm so special' written on it (taken from Movado, Reggae Dacncehall artiste), there is a plague of discouragement that has infiltrated too many minds. Where has persistence, perseverance and patience gone from childhood training? What are our youth listening too and even worse what myths and illusions (whether about themselves or life in general) are they buying into?
Life is like a cycle and as our parents do; we mirror. Thus as their parents did; they mirrored.
Yes my argument is that some of our parenting skills require a shift.... a change. Some of our parenting skills are clearly non beneficial to our youth and community. I wonder how many of us can see the parenting ways and behaviours that continue from our days of enslavement. It's these ways that continue to stifle us, keep us stuck and easily discouraged.
Yes discouragement, is in every nation. But how can we break the cycle? They say you can't teach and old dog new tricks. But you can mold the young into anything you so choose.
I hope that we all think before we speak when dealing with our youth; because our words are just as powerful as our actions.
Our youth are easily discouraged and the seed of discouragement, poor motivation and low self esteem is first sown in the home, by parents, family, friends and members of the community. Our words can kill a youths dream or give birth to one; in a split second.
My pastor once said. When you are telling off your child, instead of putting them down and telling them how silly, naughty or immature they are (the words could get worse, but please use your imagination as I am not going to write them). Tell them off with positivity. For example shout 'you intelligent boy, why did you do that?' or cuss 'do you know I expect you to be the greatest girl in the world, why did you do that?', or when you really want to smack them, give them the tightest hug and don't let go. Just whisper to them 'I really would like you to listen (or do) when I say A, B or C' and keep reminding them how they're your favourite second child.
I will say again, our youth are easily discouraged and the seed of discouragement, poor motivation and low self esteem IS FIRST SOWN in the home, by parents, family, friends and members of the community.
So please be careful of the words that leave your mouth.
Need I say more....
2013 Copyright Elen B All Right Reserved
Today I am going to make things happen. Today I am going to give thanks. But more than that, I am going to Love the mishaps and the successes, I am going to Love the tears and the laughter, I am going to Love the pain and the joy.
'Follow your passion and all your desires shall come true'
There's something about presenting that gets me excited. Not in a childish way, but in a way which brings clarity and focus. They call it passion.
I love presenting. So whilst I am looking for a new home, how could I not, create a show that can simply be presented to my listeners.....off air.
The first 'An Audience with Elen B' is being presented with Karl X, a radio presenter, and a great one at that. He has interviewed so many key icon's within the international and British community.
Check out his profile on our EventBrite page elenbkarlxlive.eventbrite.co.uk.
So, 'An audience with Elen B' is a perfect way to discuss matters within the community that would simply be too controversial and / or sound too insulting to if we discussed it live on air.
My days at www.mysticradiolive.net are no more.
To be honest it's a sad time, I loved Mystic and the team there taught me so much about the radio industry and how to be a better presenter.
It's funny because when I was younger, it was not part of my 'career plan' to become a radio presenter. It never crossed my mind. But for the last two years I have fallen totally in love with radio.
There's something about sharing information and having insightful conversations with strangers, across the airwaves that I adore. So even though my days at Mystic are no more (ball mi ah ball), my career in radio continues. from the interviews I had with Tippa Irie, Top Cat, Xavien from Top Boy, the debates on relationships I had with Niteryda and Trulo Camacho, to the insightful discussion I've hosted about youth development (or not), health and business.
And listeners.... even the silent listeners. Thank you all for your listening ears, your calls, texts and bb messages. Don't go anywhere because my shows will soon be back.
For now join my Twitter, FaceBook and SoundCloud for past shows ( I have so many that week by week I will be editing and sharing them with you).
And in the very near future I will invite you to listen to the new Elen B Show via my new radio home........watch this space (lol).
I walk with a note pad because typing in my phone does not compare to writing my thoughts, insights and epiphany's in ink.